Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize