Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
