Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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