I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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