Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
