He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
