Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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