I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
