I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
