have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
