He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
