Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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