So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Randomize
