That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
