the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
