He is an equal opportunity slut.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
