Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
