the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
