put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
