Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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