i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The ass gains better be worth it
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