you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok