i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.