i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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