Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
