I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..