I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.