I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
