rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
No subtext here. People are naked.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
