Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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