He had one of those small greek statue penises
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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