he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
