I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
