if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
