Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Are my feet made of real feet?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
