A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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