I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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