But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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