grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
