only if we run a train.
done.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
