can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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