need another drink. this is the easiest way
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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