In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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