dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
