their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
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