walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
