I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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