So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
