a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
