Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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