just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
