I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
