I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...