What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.