Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting