The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
