Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
