Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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