12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
