Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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