I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
