He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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