Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
