Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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