So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
