Best friends brother. Beat that.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
