I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Welp...herpes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
