he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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