Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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